What am I doing here?
Oh, I ask myself, what am I doin’ here?And I can’t wait ’til we can break up out of here.” Alessia Cara
During my college years, I felt just like Alessia Cara’s song, out of place, asking myself “What am I doing here,” after falling under the pressure of going to gatherings that I didn’t want to be part of, only to please my friends.
Awkwardness doesn’t begin to describe the sentiment of being stuck in a place where the foul talk was the norm, the drunk people outnumbered the sober, and the inappropriate innuendos where a given.
And yet I found myself there over and over again, because it was the right thing to do for my friends, or so I said to myself until I understood that my convictions should not be shaken by the desire to please others and that it’s OK to be an outsider.
As Christians, we are encouraged to walk in the light, and most of the times this means to feel out of place.
Walk as children of light for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true, and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Ephesians 5:8-10
So let’s discern if the actions taken at these parties are good, right or true.
Are sexual innuendos good?
Is drunkenness right?
Is foul talk true?
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Eph. 5:3
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit… Eph. 5:18
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. Eph. 5:4
So why is that we justify our actions by saying it’s alright for us to take part in these outings?
Some may say to evangelize because we are to be the light in the darkness, and you are completely right, but how probable will it be that we are going to engage in meaningful conversation in the midst of loud music and drunk people who seek to distract themselves from reality? I’m not saying it’s not possible, there may be some unique scenarios, but generally, it’s not the case.
Others may say, I don’t see anything wrong with it, as long as I don’t get drunk, I am just having fun.
Another good point because Jesus drank wine in self-control like many in the Bible, but how self-controlled are we really? And will our actions become a stumbling block to a Christian that is struggling with alcoholism?
Therefore, if food makes my brother stumble, I will never eat meat, lest I make my brother stumble. 1 Cor. 8:13
Lastly, there are some Christians that genuinely enjoy having a night out dancing and drinking.
Whichever may be your case, know that we are called to walk in the light bearing the testimony of God’s Word. Many things in life bring pleasure, but let’s pray for discernment in all we do, You say, “I am allowed to do anything, ” but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial.” 1 Cor 10:23 | NLT
Application:
There are no limits to what activities you can do with your non-beliving friends, movies, coffee shops, art exhibitions, low-key house parties, etc. Plan to bond with them in some other scenario, it’s important to maintain those relationships regardless of our worldviews. In any friendship there should be mutual respect; if they are really your friends they will completely understand why you would choose to not join them to parties.
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